Review: How to Survive a Horror Story by Mallory Arnold

Summary:

When legendary horror author Mortimer Queen passes, a group of authors find themselves invited to the last will and testament reading, expecting a piece of his massive fortune for themselves. Each have their own unique connection to the literary icon, some known, some soon to be discovered, and they’ve been waiting for their chance to step into the great author’s shoes for some time. They enter the manor and wait for their prize.

Instead, they are invited to play a game. The rules are simple, solve the riddle and progress to the next room. If you don’t, someone dies. Because each of these authors has something to hide, and Mortimer, even from the grave, always delivers the best story. Only this time, his manor will help.

You see, the Queen estate was built on the bones of the family, and the house is still very, very hungry.

Review:

If you’re looking for a story about revenge, you’ve come to the right place. The deceased author, Mortimer Queen, owned a supernatural house that needs to be “fed” with human lives, and Queen has decided that his last act will be to use that house to punish those who have wronged him. But it’s more than just a story about people getting what’s coming to them; it’s also about monsters.

Because yes, the house is a monster, and some of the things found inside it are monsters too, but this novel leans heavily into the concept that the most terrifying monsters are other people. Mortimer himself has decided that people need to die for their sins, which is beyond the pale, but those people in their turn have done horrible things. As you go through the novel, you have to ask yourself if what the characters have done makes them deserving of a horrible, terrifying death. And more: some of their crimes are worse than the others, so do some deserve death and others not?

Something that struck me about the characters was their unwillingness to own up to what they had done–big or small–even in the face of oblivion. There’s no taking of responsibility, just endless attempts at justification. And the author makes you want to give some of the characters the benefit of the doubt. In this, she makes you face the uncomfortable question of whether we’re more forgiving of those who come across as nice versus those who don’t.

While this novel was a fun haunted house romp, there were some dangling plot threads that were never built upon. For example, it is stated multiple times that the bodies of Queen’s family are all buried under the house, and yet nothing ever comes of it. There’s no trip to the basement, no ghoulish encounters. If it’s that important to what the house is, I would think the author would want to explore it. There’s a scene with servants who are all eerily similar and silent–are we meant to believe that these are past victims of the house being put to use? And who is Gia, the mysterious–and definitely demonic–housekeeper? Is she the house personified, or is she a demon, or is she something else entirely? I feel like Chekhov left a few weapons unfired in this instance.

Still, I did enjoy the story. I described it to someone as a cross between Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and the old computer game The 7th Guest. If you’re looking for a straightforward slasher story, this could be the one for you, but do be prepared to excuse a few overlooked opportunities.

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